


Accidents Happen

by H4wkishlyW0lf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-07-26 17:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7582831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H4wkishlyW0lf/pseuds/H4wkishlyW0lf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rough night after a hunt going almost sideways and an emotionally raw Dean and Castiel find themselves in a situation they never thought they would. They agreed it was a one-time mistake they had no intention of ever repeating or speaking of again.</p>
<p>But a month later a blushing Cas has to bring it up to Dean because of an unexpected problem. An unexpected bundle of problems on the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Never To Be Spoken Of Night

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first Supernatural fan fiction, first destiel fan fiction and first slash fan fiction, first MPreg fiction. Yay for all the firsts – but since there are so many firsts here please keep it in mind and be forgiving. I haven’t been watching Supernatural that long (mostly been binging it from the beginning since two weeks ago or so by time of writing this note) so if there are any mistakes – well – see above about forgiveness and the needing of. There’s some references to sex in the first chapter but nothing too smutty or detailed – I promise to make up for it later.

 

**Chapter One**

**The Never To Be Spoken Of Night**

 

It was one time. Just one time.

A little slip - an **EXPERIMENT**. Dean didn't even swing that way - well - not that he knew. He had just. They had a bond, and he had been feeling so alone - so broken recently.

Although being broken seemed to be the default state for the both of them. Dean and Cas - constantly broken. Building each other back up - fixing each other. They'd been torn down to the core building blocks of who they were and had to glue each other together piece by piece.

Castiel had lost his purpose, his home, his family, his sanity for a short while, Meg. So much had been lost. There had been no small amount of guilt on Dean's part for all that Castiel had lost. Once an angel said that he corrupted, the “very touch” of Dean corrupted, and that once Castiel had touched his soul Castiel had “been lost”. Dean couldn’t staunch the feelings within his gut about his involvement in Cas’ falling. It had been his fault. Cas had fallen for him.

Dean had lost too. His parents, his potential life, his actual life. His soul. Going back to earth, losing Sammy, losing everything...

Seemed to be the Winchester way. Screw up and lose everything.

That in Dean’s mind made Castiel a Winchester. At least honorary.

He was getting distracted by his own thoughts.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been one night. They were both raw off a hunt. Castiel was taking longer to recover than he liked, grace or no, the angel had taken a severe beating even for him – which said a lot. Dean, shunned by Sam because they were in the middle of yet another argument, had decided to help Castiel out by trying to bandage him up a bit once they got back to the Men of Letters bunker until Castiel had enough energy back to heal himself. It was weird to think of Castiel weakened but it did happen. Now more than when he’d first met the angel. Another thing that Dean took to be his fault – but he did like the humanity Cas had. After having been human for a while Cas was a great deal more relatable – which had gone a long way to helping Dean get over all the things he and Cas had been through.

It had been simple, Dean had been leaning close as he cleaned up a cut along Cas’ jaw. Cas had been complaining that he didn’t need to do that since he’d heal up easily enough when he had the energy while at the same time deriding himself for being so useless even with being an angel.

Dean had tuned out most of Castiel’s grumbling since he had gone over the lecture about how valuable Cas was time and again. He was just concentrating on cleaning the wound when he got slightly distracted by Cas’ lips – watching them move. They always looked pillowy soft and pale. Dean blinked rapidly as a thought crossed his mind about kissing the angel. He frowned. Dean wasn’t gay – he wasn’t even bi. He could’ve sworn he wasn’t even bi. A fleeting thought here and there about Dr. Sexy MD and Cas didn’t make him bi. Although he had to admit that quite a few times he’d thought about kissing Cas. Hugging Cas. But that was mostly just because they had a bond. A strong one. Like brothers. Brothers in arms.

It took him some time to realise that he’d stopped cleaning the wound and was just staring at Cas’ lips. It took him a few more moments to realise that Cas was trying to get his attention.

“Dean. Dean. Is there something wrong with my face?”

“Huh? Oh – no – no.” Dean replied sheepishly. He was not about to admit to an Angel of the Lord, a straight, male, recently-ish deflowered Angel of the Lord, that he had been thinking about kissing him.

“You seemed concerned about something. Something is troubling you?” Cas asked, looking equally concerned at his friend.

Dean flushed, moving back a bit as he put the instruments down. “Nope. Not a thing.”

Cas frowned again, it was obvious he didn’t believe Dean, then shrugged a little. Seeming to decide that if Dean wasn’t going to tell him then it wasn’t something he needed to know. Dean was watching him and then sighed figuring the moment had passed and picking up a new dressing and moving to deal with a cut around Castiel’s ear. Cas winced and shook his head a little.

“I can heal this just fine Dean if you just let me...” Cas started but Dean ignored him and continued.

“You’re hurt now – no point in putting it off until you have the energy back. Besides – you spent a good deal of it on me and Sam when we were out there...” Dean muttered, not wanting to dwell on that being why Cas was so torn up.

He kept patching Cas up while the Angel started talking about the spate of demon activity lately. Dean was looking intently at Cas’ ear and definitely _not_ thinking about taking it between his teeth and sucking on it gently. Where were those thoughts even coming from?!? He was straight dammit!

He tried to distract himself from thoughts about Castiel by thinking about busty asian beauties. Which started out kind of fine, he had a bit of a semi but at least it was about girls. Then suddenly some of those girls started wearing trench coats.... and blue ties... and their hair got shorter – messed up sex-hair. Their eyes shifted from dark to an intense blue – and before too long Dean was once again imagining Cas.

This was ridiculous. Even if he _did_ have these kinds of thoughts of Cas, and so far it appeared that these thoughts only ever occurred to Dean about Cas and no one else, he knew these thoughts were not reciprocated. Jimmy, the original inhabitant of now Cas’ body had been straight – happily married with a daughter, and Cas had been married a short while as Emmanuel and there had been the reaper chick. Cas was definitely into girls – not dudes.

“Dean, you have been tending to that wound for five minutes now – I don’t think it needs any more attention.” Castiel’s voice broke into Dean’s thoughts.

Dean blinked as he looked at Cas almost startled, looked down at Cas’ lips which were very close from the angle that Dean was leaning. Leaning was the operative word since before he seemed to be able to stop himself the hunter had leaned in even more and was suddenly lip locked with the angel who’d raised him from perdition.

His lips really were pillowy soft.

Complaints, protest, being pushed away. Dean was expecting all manner of different reactions from Cas but the one thing he wasn’t expecting was for Cas to kiss him back. Dean was taken even more by surprise when the angel brought his hands up and tugged the hunter closer, deepening the kiss. A memory flashed in his mind of Cas watching “the pizza man” and wondered if this was what Cas was channelling a little.

Such thoughts were quickly lost as Dean and Cas stood together still lip locked. The two men became two beings of pure sensation and instinct. There was no real thought to what they were doing, where they were going, before Dean even registered that they had been half walking half dancing through the bunker they ended up in Dean’s room. Feverish hands were clumsily undoing clothes while they were still kissing just about any piece of skin they could reach.

Dean had no experience with male on male sex. None. Which caused him to be a little shy about the whole endeavour but Cas had spent centuries, perhaps even millennia, watching humans have sex in pretty much every combination possible. Which meant that Cas took the lead to begin with. Dean wasn’t particularly comfortable being the supine partner even if it did feel pretty amazing and so after a little while Cas and he switched over which Dean found more along his comfort level. Dean set up a silent prayer of thanks to anyone that was listening that he’d got some lube on hand or this whole thing would have been very awkward and painful.

As it was – it was hours spent between the two shifting positions, taking turns “topping” until they both finished. The orgasms... they were amazing and Dean had been shocked as he’d finished inside of Cas at how powerful his orgasm actually was – stronger than he’d had in a long while. Perhaps ever but Dean wasn’t willing to admit that to himself let alone anyone else.

They’d collapsed on the bed sweaty and worn out, falling asleep pretty much instantly.

The next morning, however, had been very awkward...

Cas was all healed up, his energy having recovered during the night – the angel was more than a little surprised that he’d slept at all since he normally didn’t sleep – but it apparently had helped him. The conversation the next morning was stilted, Cas was confused, Dean was embarrassed. It was decided that whatever it was that had happened last night... it was a mistake. A lapse in judgment where they were both just trying to work out all their tension from a really bad hunt. It was never going to happen again so there was absolutely no need to talk about it with anyone else. There was no need to talk about it with each other either. They were STRAIGHT. Straight guys did not have sex with each other. It wasn’t a thing.

 

* * *

 

 

That had been a month ago. They hadn’t mentioned anything about it to anyone or each other. They barely looked at each other and Dean had spent more time than normal searching out strictly hetero porn.

Now Cas was standing in front of him in his room looking sheepish.

“That’s not possible. We’re both _dudes_. That sort of thing is not possible between two dudes.” Dean protested.

“I’m an angel Dean. Angels are agendered – we are neither male nor female despite any personal preferences when it comes to vessels.” Cas was saying quietly and patiently. He looked sheepish, he was downright blushing and avoiding eye contact in very un-Cas ways – but he sounded just like normal Castiel – calm, cool, collected. All things Dean currently was not.

“Yeah – but you’re in a _male_ vessel. Which brings me back to _both dudes_.”

“This.... since Jimmy is no longer in this body at all – since it became mine... it is adaptable. Not strictly adherent to human physiology.” Cas stuttered a little as he tried to explain. “It... adapted.”

“But... but...”

“I... I realise this is a shock but the fact remai...” Cas was cut off.

“YOU CAN’T BE PREGNANT THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!”

“I... I’m sorry Dean. But **I am**.”


	2. Alot of "I Don't Know"s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean talk about the awkward topic of male angel pregnancy. It doesn't get less awkward. Beer ensues.

**Chapter Two**  

**Alot of "I Don't Know"s**

 

“ _How_ did your body adapt?” For now Dean wasn’t really in a position mentally to start asking why so he stuck with the general engineering questions here. “Did your body suddenly grow a womb connected to your ass or something!?!”

“It’s more of a pouch....” Cas said quietly and flushed a little.

“A pouch... connected to your ass...”

“That’s very crude Dean. Toward the... uhm... end...you remember when you shifted a bit and seemed to go deeper?” Cas asked, his cheeks tinged crimson, having by past pink and red.

Dean shifted uncomfortably as he recalled the night and the hot heavy breathing. The feeling of slick skin against slick skin, the panting, the hands... His cock buried inside Cas’ ass as he began to pump, the slight shift in angle where it felt like he’d slipped into a new entrance. The colour drained from Dean’s face at the memory. “I... I.... h...how...?”

“Dean. My true form is a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent the size of the Chrysler Building. I have brought people back from death, I have been brought back from death multiple times myself, I have healed people from what would be fatal wounds and illnesses. Is it truly beyond you to think that I would be able to grow a pouch capable of supporting a foetus?”

“Little bit yes.” Dean admitted as he looked at the man standing before him, looking slightly less dishevelled than when they’d first met – tan trench coat, shirt with the first few buttons undone and revealing a slightly tanned throat. Dean couldn’t help focusing on Castiel’s throat, thinking back to when he’d been sucking and licking at it – little bite marks. He was sure he’d left a few hickies there but they had all faded by now if not instantly upon Cas’ full recovery. “Why didn’t you tell me this was a risk while we were...? I mean – We should have used protection....”

“I... I didn’t know until it’d happened. Angels don’t tend to get pregnant – all Nephilim I know of have been born to human females who were impregnated by angels.” He flushed a bit. “Nephilim are forbidden, their creation forbidden. They’re considered abominations in the eyes of heaven.” Cas’ voice was cracking a little and Dean began to look even more concerned but now more about Cas’ than about how they’d ended up in this situation.

“Cas... are you alright?” Dean asked, his own voice croaking a little.

“I’m fine.” The lie said by pretty much all Winchester men, blood or honorary, came easily to the angel’s lips but Dean’s frown showed that it was about as believable as saying that all the vampires in the entire world had all turned into clones of Robert Pattinson. Cas shifted his feet a little. “I’m a little nervous Dean.” He finally admitted.

Dean frowned a little. “Nervous? You’re pregnant – nervous is expected.” He still struggled to get his head around the idea that Cas was pregnant. “Are you... are you keeping her...him.... it?” he had no idea what to call it.

“I... I don’t know.” He sounded so lost as he spoke, almost as lost as when he'd first started questioning heaven. “Dean I.... I don’t know what to do.” Cas was still looking at his shoes.

Dean shifted up on the bed to make room for the angel to sit down, then gently moved his hands out to tug on Castiel’s hands so he’d take the hint and sit next to him.

“You’re not the only one,” Dean said quietly. “Of all the things I was expecting in life – knocking up my _male_ angel friend was not one of them.”

“I’ve just told you – angels don’t have genders. We’re a multidimensional-” Castiel replied slightly exasperated being cut off mid sentence.

“...wavelengths of celestial intent. I understand.” Dean replied even though they both knew full well he had no damn idea what “multidimensional wavelength” meant and only had the slightest grasp on the “celestial intent” part. He sighed as he looked at Cas. “Alright – so – your body adapted a pouch, womb, whatever, toward the end of...what we....” he looked extremely uncomfortable as he stumbled over his words. “what we...did.” he sighed. “Why did it do it? I mean – was it on purpose or automatic – I mean – does it always happen when you have sex with men?”

Cas looked at Dean frowning deeply. “I don’t have sex with... Dean.... I.... you and I...what.... it was my first time with a man.”

That wasn’t too unbelievable. Cas had only just lost his virginity a few years ago. He’d only ever seemed interested in women – and what had happened between Dean and him... they hadn’t planned it, expected it, they didn’t talk about it by agreement. They were both straight men – it’d been their first time with another man and they were both absolutely sure they were still straight. Right? Right? Shit – yeah – Cas was pregnant – getting back to the problem at hand.

“If they’re an abomination you like...have to get rid of it right?” Dean asked, looking at Cas a little nervously although he wasn’t entirely sure which possible answer made him more nervous.

“Dean, after all these years – you know that I have come to ... treasure free will as an important thing for people to have. Even angels. This... this child did not ask to be brought into existence. They had no choice in the matter – it was – us. Our actions. They’re an innocent. Dean – I don’t think I can kill an innocent being. Not another one.” He flushed looking away.

“Cas – at this point...” Dean started before a thought occurred to him causing him to pause. “Are you going to... will this pregnancy last 9 months like a human?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know.” Cas replied. “This is the first time I’ve been pregnant.”

That sentence would never sound right coming from a gruff baritone like Castiel’s. Dean swallowed a little.

“Well – supposing it’s nine months like with humans – then what we’re talking about here is a collection of cells – DNA from the both.... it is the both of us yes – I mean – I don’t know how it works with angels....” Dean stumbled over his words a bit – it seemed that neither of them knew how this worked really.

“Dean – yes – but – Dean – it has a life. An essence, a spark.” Cas swallowed. “Look – I just – I don’t think I...” Cas trailed off and ended up looking at his shoes again.

Dean considered him for long moments and sighed. “I know what you mean.” He said in a gruff voice, not quite but almost as gruff as Cas’. “Not that I’m against women having – y’know – abortions if they choose. But – yeah – I get why you feel you can’t. I don’t know what I’d do if I were in your position and I will never have occasion to find out.”

Cas nodded a little, still looking at his shoes.

“So... you’re keeping it?” he asked softly – just to make sure.

“I think... Yes.” Castiel said although he didn’t sound confident until he actually said the word yes.

Dean took some long deep breaths as he stared at his feet. The two men sitting side by side with a sudden interest in their own footwear was almost comical.

“So. We’re going to be fathers.” Dean said quietly. “I was not prepared for this. Like. Ever.” He ran a hand through his hair in a manner that was surprisingly reminiscent of Sam’s habit. “I need a drink.” He muttered quietly. Standing up Dean stretched then moved toward his room’s door.

“N...now?” Cas asked stuttering. “You don’t want to... talk more?”

“I do – I just want to do it with beer in me.” Dean replied. “I’ll be right back – wait here.”

Cas stared at Dean’s retreating back looking almost as nervous as he’d done when Dean had taken him to the bordello. Dean returned with a six pack and two dishes of pie. He sighed as he sat back down and opened a bottle taking a swig. He offered a bottle to Cas but the angel shook his head wrinkling his nose to indicate he didn’t think it was a great idea for him to be drinking alcohol.

“Alright – so – back to the why. Why would your body adapt like that? I mean – on purpose, automatic, what?”

“I don’t know Dean. They don’t exactly cover this sort of thing in orientation.” Cas replied a little acerbically.

“There’s orientation?”

“No. Dean. Dean – concentrate.” Cas replied, exasperated and mussing his hair a little.

“How do you even know that you’re... y’know? I mean it’s not like you have a monthly.... issue to clue you in – did you pee on a stick or something?” Dean asked, still taking occasional swigs from his beer.

“Dean. I’m an Angel of the Lord. I **_know_** I’m pregnant.” Cas replied. “And I’m not sure if a pregnancy test would detect it – but I can take one if you prefer.”

Dean nodded slowly. “I trust you.” He paused. “Uhm – usually there are like – Doctor’s appointments and stuff – how... how are we going to deal with that?”

Cas looked pained. “I don’t know Dean.” He blew out a breath. “I don’t know anything – I’m lost here.” He snorted self-derisively, which was quite the feat, and shook his head as he muttered. “A baby with a trenchcoat.”

Dean winced a little as he recalled having said that to Cas some years back. He swallowed another swig of beer and awkwardly gave Cas a side-on hug. Cas tensed for a few moments before relaxing into it a little.

“Alright – so – recap. You are pregnant after our Night-That-Was-To-Be-Unmentioned. You’re keeping it. It’s ours. We don’t know how this happened. We don’t know what to do about Doctors, or how the birthing process is going to work, or how long this pregnancy is going to last, or well anything.” Dean sighed. “We’re screwed.”

“That is how we got into this predicament,” Cas replied without a hint of anything but serious contemplation.

“The kid’s going to be Nephilim?” Dean asked quietly.

“Yes.” Cas replied, wincing a little as he knew where Dean’s thought process was going.

“So – they could... get their heart cut out and cast all the angels out of heaven again?”

“No – I don’t think that Metatron’s spell can be done again... and well – I wouldn’t allow that to happen.”

The earnestness in Cas’ voice caused the Hunter to consider him for a moment. He was sure that Cas was ready and willing to put his life on the line for their child and Dean tried to dislodge the unsettling feeling he had that he was going to be the same. For better or worse – this child was his. His and Cas’.

There was a long silence as Dean drank a bit and Cas fiddled with the blanket on the bed as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. Dean sighed.

“Are you going to get like – cravings?”

Cas looked at him confused.

“Like – Pie? Pickles and ice cream? Peanut butter and jelly?” Dean clarified.

“I don’t k...”

“You don’t know – okay – well – have you had any so far?” Dean interrupted Cas, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration – there was a hell of a lot of don’t knows in this conversation.

“I... I don’t think so?” Cas replied. “I mean – I’ve had some thoughts – but no... urges.”

“So nothing like when you were affected by Famine?” Dean asked to be sure.

“No.” Cas replied and it was nice for a change in this conversation for him to be so definite about something.

Dean swallowed the last of his beer, put the bottle down and picked up the next, opening and taking another swig almost without thinking about it. Apparently, Daddy Dean had cravings to get very, very drunk.

“Are we... are we going to tell Sam?” Dean asked finally after a long and fairly uncomfortable silence.

“We... may have to – once I start showing.” Cas flushed deeply crimson once more. “We don’t... we don’t have to tell him that it’s yours, though...”

Dean shook his head a little. “No point denying that. I’m done lying to my brother. At least – as much as I can help.” He paused. “But we may want to put off telling him for a while.”

Cas nodded a little. “Agreed.”

Dean sighed once more and opened his mouth a few times to try and say something, but nothing came out and eventually he just took another swig of beer.

“Do you – do you regret what happened more now?” Cas asked softly, avoiding looking at any part of Dean.

Dean blinked a little as he looked at Cas. It was obvious his friend was in deep need of reassurance at this point and so he put his personal issues aside for the moment. “Cas – no. I don’t regret what happened more.” He paused. “I still don’t know how to deal with what happened, it still... I still have a hard time processing it – but I don’t _regret_ it per se.”

Cas nodded slowly.

“Do you?” Dean asked, suddenly curious and nervous all at once.

“Do I what?”

“Regret it? More now?” Dean asked quietly.

Cas looked at him, blue eyes intense as they locked with green. He appeared to be ready to stare into Dean’s eyes until Dean wasted away.

“I don’t regret what happened Dean. I don’t regret it even a little.” He replied, earnest.

The intensity of his eyes on Dean’s was beginning to make the hunter a little more uncomfortable than even the admission.

A knock came on the door and Sam opened peeking his head around. “Hey, guys – am I interrupting?”

“Yes.” “No.” The replies were simultaneous. The hunter and angel gave each other meaningful looks but then looked back at Sam. “What is it, Sammy?” Dean asked quietly.

“I found us a case. So get this...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still getting the hang of this whole deal - so please be forgiving. Feedback is always appreciated though and I'm so thankful for all the kudos and the comment I've gotten on the first chapter. This chapter is a little longer than the last one.
> 
> As you can see the topic of abortion does come up in this chapter and I'd like to say that no matter what is said by characters or seemingly implied - I'm fully pro-choice.
> 
> Enjoy.


	3. Telling the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it's been so long since I posted the last chapter - things can be a little busy. But I hope this one is still good - thank you for all the comments and kudos it's been REALLY encouraging and I feel very welcomed.

**Chapter Three**

**Telling the Family**

 

A simple salt and burn to get rid of a ghost. That’s all Dean had needed. Something quick, in and out, a milk run so that he could at least concentrate some of his mind on the glaring problem he had of having knocked up his best friend.

It’d have been _fantastic_... had it been that simple.

As it was, he was covered in mud, and god only knew what else, same as Sam who at least was talking to Dean again, and walking back to the Impala feeling like he’d broken his back. He hadn’t – but it didn’t mean he didn’t feel that way.

“I didn’t think I’d get to this point – but I’m starting to wonder if I’m getting too old for hunting.” Dean groaned out as he stretched next to the Impala. Sam snorted.

“Yeah – no. Until such a time as you can no longer eat ‘ _the Elvis_ ’ you are not too old for hunting.” Sam paused. “Although you might want to give up on the whole eating ‘ _the Elvis_ ’.”

“It’s a **classic**.”

“If by classic you mean a classic way to get a heart attack.”

Dean grunted a little as they both got in the car and then stared out at the scene before them. The bones were still burning to a cinder in the mud, and the skirmish they had was slowly having its evidence washed away by the rain that had just started to fall. Thank god for small mercies that it’d started raining after the brothers’ had gotten in the car.

“So what was up with you and Cas earlier?” Sam asked looking over at his brother. The angel hadn’t joined them on this job having his own stuff to deal with as usual.

Dean winced a little. “You know Cas. He’s always a little awkward.” He tried to bat the subject away with a dismissive comment. To be fair however, Cas had been getting better over the years when it came to his awkwardness.

“Yeah – but you were pretty awkward as well.” Sam pointed out.

“It’s complicated.”

“What is?” Sam frowned a little as he looked at Dean. “Come on – we may not have the most open relationship – but I know when something is bothering you. Let’s talk about this.”

“Let’s not and pretend we did. I’m not really in a touchy-feely mood right now.” Dean replied as he started up Baby and drove away.

“When are you _ever_? And when has that ever really worked for us Dean?” Sam asked looking frustrated. “When I had dreams about Jessica dying for weeks before it happened and then didn’t tell you for weeks after? How did that work out for us? When you didn’t tell me about what Dad told you about maybe having to kill me? How about when I got addicted to Demon Blood? How about when Cas didn’t tell us about his deal with Crowley to get the souls of purgatory? Or when...”

“Sam, drop it? _Please_? I’ll tell you another time – probably.” Dean replies looking at his brother in a plaintive look. Sam is still frowning at him but nods his assent.

They got back to the motel to shower and change, Dean taking a little time to clean out the Impala afterwards before they ate some food from White Castle, checked out, before driving back to the bunker. Dean had successfully avoided any personal conversations while all this was happening and opted to not sleep at the motel that night. Sam grumbled but went to sleep in the front seat – something both boys were used to doing at some point or another.

Dean parked inside the bunker easily enough and yawned a little stretching before he tapped Sam’s shoulder to wake him. “We’re back.” He grunted and got out before heading to his room, not even awake enough to take in if Sam got out or not. He went to his room, still yawning, and stretching as if not pushing his arms away from his body would cause him to fall asleep en route to his bed.

He’d have just collapsed on his bed without looking as well had he not caught sight of dark spiky hair and tan cloth from the doorway. On his bed sat Cas against the headboard, his eyes closed and head nodded forward slightly as if he were napping. Dean blinked slowly.

“Cas?” he asked cautiously, his voice rough with the need to sleep.

“Hello Dean.” came the reply, in Cas’ usual gruff timbre.

“Are you sleeping on my bed? Napping on my bed?”

“No.”

“Your eyes are closed.”

“I’m meditating.”

“Why do I not believe you?”

“You have grown to have a very distrusting personality in recent times Dean.”

The exchange was fairly quick paced given how tired Dean was but it was almost normal. A sort of normality between the two that Dean really needed before he remembered the probable reason Cas was there.

“I’m really tired Cas, I can’t talk about your... problem right now.” Dean hedged. Why he had a hard time saying the word ‘pregnancy’ he didn’t know – all of a sudden it was like the word was forbidden.

“I understand. I can wait. You should sleep.” Cas replied, but he wasn’t moving. Dean looked at him.

“Cas... are you intending to stay there all night?”

“Yes.” Cas replied and finally opened his fiercely blue eyes to look at him. They looked a little puffy and Dean had the uncomfortable impression that Cas had been crying. Dean blinked a little.

“Okay.” He replied, he couldn’t think of anything else to say. He hadn’t really seen Cas cry. He’d seen him be vulnerable, but not crying. He wasn’t going to kick Cas out, not when he was like this, he just couldn’t.

Dean went into the bathroom and got changed, brushed his teeth, all on near automatic pilot before he went in, seeing Cas still on the bed with his eyes closed once more, then moving to the other side of the bed and settling down to sleep. He found it interesting that Cas had taken the side of the bed that Dean didn’t usually use.

Once Dean was asleep he slept very peacefully – for a change – he was fishing again and he remembered that the other time he dreamt of fishing Castiel had turned up. He looked around to see if he could see the angel. He didn’t see Cas anywhere but that didn’t mean he wasn’t around somewhere helping him dream something pleasant rather than the usual nightmares. He took solace and once he woke up he was surprised at how well rested he felt. He hadn’t been well rested in some years, at least that he remembered.

Looking up he discovered that Cas was still there, curled up in a tan trenchcoat ball and while not snoring he was breathing fairly peacefully. As a human Cas had needed sleep but Dean recalled that angels didn’t sleep – they didn’t need to. How had Jimmy worded it? Like being chained to a comet. Comets didn’t tend to sleep or eat. Was this a ploy, or a comfort thing?

A sudden thought struck him. Was Cas going to need sleep and food now he was pregnant? A lot of questions about Cas’ condition flooded back to fill the hunter’s mind. Dean shook his head slowly as he got up and went to the bathroom to do his usual ablutions.

He changed into clean clothes in the bathroom then came back out to see Cas still curled up in his trenchcoat a little. He was cute – not that Dean would ever admit to thinking so.

As he watched Cas stirred and looked up at Dean, he seemed to be sleepy, which Dean didn’t know if he found worrying or not.

“So – do you need to sleep now that you’re pregnant?” Dean blurted out without even giving the angel a civilized morning greeting.

Cas grunted. “No. But it can help.”

Dean nodded slowly. “And eating?”

“The same. I don’t require it – and it will just taste like molecules, but it can help with the child’s... development. Since they are half human.” Cas replied softly. “I don’t know. I might need to after all – I’ve never been pregnant before and there aren’t exactly support groups.”

Dean nodded a little and swallowed. “Would you... uhm... like some breakfast?” he felt unsure now as all the emotions he’d felt when he’d first been told about Cas’ pregnancy flooded back.

Cas nodded silently. Dean nodded in return. The both of them stayed still and awkwardly for a while before they sort of jerked themselves into motion, made grunts and quiet comments about how they should get going then and eventually walked to the kitchen.

Sam was already there making something disgustingly healthy that he’d attempt to talk Dean into eating which would be responded to with the usual lecture about the abomination of having any kind of breakfast that didn’t have at least some sort of pig meat in it.

Dean started to make bacon and eggs while Cas sat looking awkward at the table. Sam looked between the two of them.

“Uhm – guys – you’re going to have to tell me what’s going on...” Sam fished for answers which was generally responded to with silent awkward looks from Cas and grunts from Dean suggesting this should wait. This time however the grunt from Dean didn’t sound like he was going to put it off.

“Alright – fine – but let me finish cooking this.” Dean responded, watching the bacon carefully and so not seeing Sam’s mouth fall open in shock.

Sam didn’t say anything in case a comment about Dean’s sudden openness caused his brother to revert back to his habit of clamming up. His mouth opened in shock once more however when Dean came over to the table and put down both a plate for himself and one for Cas before pressing cutlery in the angel’s hands.

“Uhm – Dean – Cas don’t eat...?” Sam pointed out slowly. “He’s not human any more.” He paused. “Wait – or is he? Cas – did you lose your grace again? Is this what this is about?”

The younger Winchester looked almost scared at the possibility that their virtual ace up their sleeve may be compromised and human once more.

“I am still an angel.” Cas replied softly.

“He’s...” Dean started and then blew out a deep breath. “Cas is pregnant.”

There was a silence that descended on the Bunker kitchen as Sam tried to absorb and understand what he had just been told.

“Pregnant? Cas?” Sam finally managed to say five minutes later. Dean was almost finished with his breakfast at this point.

“Yes.” Cas confirmed quietly. He’d been picking at his eggs and bacon but he had at least taken a few bites which had just caused Sam to stare at him more.

“You’re a guy. I mean – your vessel is male.” Sam pressed and Dean inwardly sighed since it looked like they were going to have to cover all the same ground that Dean and Cas had already covered with each other. Cas explained quietly to Sam how his grace allowed his body to be adapted for the child now growing within him.

“Uhm – if you’re... if you’re pregnant does that mean – you had sex with a... a guy?” Sam asked finally and Dean swallowed deeply. This was the part he really hadn’t wanted to get to.

“Dean is the father.” Cas replied quietly, looking away.

Sam gaped.

There was nothing else he could do – he just gaped at the two men in front of him – his brother and an angel he’d come to consider as brother. He’d just never thought of Cas as a brother in law.

“When...how... how long has this been going on?”

“It hasn’t. There’s... there’s nothing going on. It was just one night. Mistakes were made.” Dean replied, not seeing Cas wince slightly.

“You know when I asked during the whole leviathan deal if you were strictly Dick now – I had been joking.” Sam eventually said trying to lighten the atmosphere a little but just earning a glare from his elder brother. “What are you guys going to do? I thought nephilim were strictly forbidden?”

“They are. We’re keeping it.” Dean replied. Cas suddenly looked at him a little surprised.

 _“We’re_?” Cas asked almost inaudibly.

Dean looked at him and nodded stiffly. “No matter how this child comes into this world – they’re **mine**. You’re not going to go through this alone even if it is a little uncomfortable. I’ll deal.”


	4. Research and the Folic Acid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the SUPER LONG MEGA delay since I last uploaded a chapter. Since I'm chronically ill, disabled and with a small son sometimes these things get on top of me. This is also a kinda small chapter - sorry about that.
> 
> I'll try to do better next chapter.

**Chapter Four**

**Research and the Folic Acid**

“There are plenty of rooms here, this isn’t that hard.” Sam complained as he followed Dean and Cas around the bunker while the two men decided on which room would be the baby’s room.

“It’s got to be one close to both my room and Cas’.” Dean said as he opened a door and looked around, not sure about the size of the room or how they’d be able to decorate it or baby proof it. Baby proofing the bunker was going to be one hell of a job and he wasn’t sure if he was up to it right that second.

“Well, you could just have the two of you move into one room.” Sam teased a little, having slowly gotten more and more used to the idea of the Angel of the Lord and his brother being together. He wasn’t completely comfortable yet but he wasn’t going to let that get in the way of teasing them.

Dean just glowered at Sam before he found a room that would work. “Well, what do you think Cas?” he asked, the angel having been silent for quite a while now as he trailed after Dean.

“I don’t believe you would be comfortable with us sharing a room.” Cas replied, missing that Dean was asking about the room.

“That’s not happening, the room Cas. What do you think about this room for the baby?”

“I’m not sure why we are picking out a room. The child could just sleep in my room.” Cas responded as he looked around.

“No. They can’t. If the baby sleeps in your room then YOU will never get any rest.”

“I don’t need rest.”

“You do sometimes. Beside the point, I also need to be able to reach them. What if you are off on heaven business? I’m their father too and I’ll need to be doing some of the work, the night feedings and the like.”

“You could easily attend to the child in my room.”

“CAS! The baby can’t live in your room! We have so many rooms here I’m not going to deny my child a nursery and room of their own!”

Cas paused as he looked at Dean and squinted slightly. Since Dean accepted responsibility for their child he’d been more protective than Cas had anticipated. Which seemed ridiculous when he considered how Dean treated Sam, of course Dean would be protective, it was his nature. Dean constantly tried to please other people and mother them. He was very caring.

“Alright. This room is acceptable and I’m sure we can adapt it accordingly to the child’s needs.” Cas replied looking around the room again. Dean clapped his hands together seeming happier as he did so and moved off to the library intent on finding something.

Cas remained in the room with Sam looking at him thoughtfully. The taller man nodded to the angel with a smile.

“Thanks for that Cas. I know I was making fun – but this is... really important to Dean.”

“Is it because he did not have his own room growing up?” Cas asked and saw Sam nod before the man even opened his mouth to answer.

“That’s my thinking – between the ages of four and his early thirties... Dean didn’t have any home other than the Impala and motel rooms. I’m okay with it – but Dean – he nests. He loves home and I think it’s important to him for his child to have a permanent home. Even if it’s a bunker and he’s still working as he is.”

Cas nodded in agreement and then left the room to follow Dean into the library. He saw the hunter searching the internet for things like a cot, diaper genie, and various other clutter that somehow became essential to child rearing.

“Where do you stand on baby wipes verses cotton wool and water?” Dean asked as he looked up at Cas. Cas gave him a confused expression. It appeared the angel had no clue. Next to Dean’s elbow on the table were a couple of books that Cas put his head on one side to read the titles of.

“ ‘The Magic of Pregnancy’, ‘Prepared Parenthood’, ‘The Complete Study of Nephilim’, ‘Homestead Doctor: Medical Procedures For When Help is Not Around’.” Cas read slowly and rose an eyebrow as he looked at Dean. “How did you find all these?”

“The first two and the last one are all from online bookstores. The study of Nephilim was already here in the bunker.” Dean admitted.

“There are books on magical pregnancies online?” Cas asked, sounding dubious.

“Oh – no – just normal pregnancies, they just uh.... seem to think of it as a magical time. Usually. Y’know – expecting kids. Usually planned for.” Dean replied.

“In my experience accidental pregnancy is a far higher occurrence than planned.” Cas said as he sat down. Dean laughed.

“Uh – maybe some decades ago – but most plan for it nowadays that I know of. Plus some of the accidents are half planned, like – they were thinking about having kids in the future and it sorta...happened sooner – y’know?” Dean and Cas seemed to enter into a staring contest at that point before finally the hunter picked up the book on pregnancy and handed it to Cas.

“You should read up  - I don’t know how much is actually... uhm... relevant to you – but might help you a bit.” He said softly, going pink. “And uhm – there’s some orange juice there.” He pointed.

Cas looked to see a glass with orange juice, seeming surprised as if he’d not noticed it on the table before. “Yes – there is...?” he asked, looking confused as to what it had to do with him.

“You’re supposed to drink it. Uhm – folic acid is really important in the early stages of pregnancy and until me or Sam go and pick some of supplements you’re meant to have oranges are a good natural source for them.”

Cas blinked. “We’re not sure what is relevant to me given that I’m an angel.”

“Right – so – better safe than sorry?” Dean replied.

Another staring contest before finally Cas nodded his agreement and started to drink the orange juice. Finishing the glass in one go before he opened the book and began to read.

Sometime later Sam came into the room and watched the two expectant fathers sitting across the table from each other researching and reading. He shook his head a little as he came up and sat down at the head of the table.

“Hey Dean – think I’ve found us a case in Arkansas – you want to come along or do you want to stay here and I tackle it on my own?” he asked, breaking the silence.

Dean blinked a little as he looked at Sam. “What?”

“Case. Arkansas. Want me to go solo or you go along?”

“What’s the case?”

“Over the past six months there’s been a spate of murders all around the full moon.” Sam replied and he could see Dean’s eyes roll before he even finished his sentence.

“Let me guess, hearts missing?”

“That’s what at least three of the coroners reports said.” Sam confirmed.

“Okay. I’ll go along for this – don’t know how many werewolves there might be so don’t want you going alone.”

Cas looked up at the two of them expectantly.  “Should I j---?“

Before he even finished his sentence Dean cut him off. “No. I want you here where you’re safe. We’ll call Jody and ask her to come and keep you company.”

“From all the way in Sioux Falls?” Sam asked, his eyebrows furrowed slightly, but the look Dean shot him completely shut him up. Dean was in full Papa bear mode already and the child wasn’t even born yet. Not that Dean hadn’t always been slightly protective of Cas just as he was of Sam – it’s just that it had taken on a whole extra level now.

Castiel seemed to have sensed the shift as well as he nodded mutely while he looked at Dean. There was something in his eyes however that Sam hadn’t seen before. Almost as if he was scared to not be near Dean right then. The tall man tried to shake it off by moving his shoulders a little but the look was unnerving. He’d never seen anyone look at his brother with that amount of need before – he didn’t even recall being looked at like that ever in his life.

He knew that Cas loved Dean like a brother...but was it that Cas loved Dean as MORE than a brother? They did sleep together after all...

Sam tried to put all this to the back of his mind as he went to his room to pack.

 


	5. Netflix and Sympathy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the feedback I'm getting from you guys, it really means a great deal to me - you have no idea.
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter again guys - but I wanted to focus a little more on Castiel in this chapter and it felt like the ending I put in at it was the right place to bring it to a close. I'm going to try for a much longer chapter next time. Promise.

**Chapter Five**

**Netflix and Sympathy**

 

Castiel had prowled around the bunker like a caged animal for several hours after Dean and Sam had left for their hunt. The call to Jody had gone well and she was already on her way to the bunker to virtually babysit the angel. As she wasn't afraid of flying like Dean she'd be there in a few hours tops.

Castiel didn't want to deal with her, he didn't want to deal with anyone right now really, he wanted to be with Dean and protecting him. He felt a _need_ to be with Dean and protecting the father of his child. He was an angel of the Lord _dammit_! He might not be able to fly anymore, teleportation, but he could still fight, he could still burn demons right out of their vessels. He was still worthwhile in a fight! He was barely two months pregnant! He wouldn't be even showing for at least another month!

Kicking a leg of a table in the library, the Angel scowled so hard at the tabletop it was a wonder the surface didn't spontaneously burst on fire. He'd been with Dean and Sam through at least two apocalypses in some form or another. It was... emasculating being benched for the sake of a child. He understood why Dean was insisting, but he didn't have to like it. Chuck, he didn't like! He didn't like it one bit! He wanted to be around Dean. Dean was where he felt safest right now.

Frankly, Dean was where he felt safest since Purgatory. Would have been since the apocalypse - but he didn't feel safe in Purgatory by Dean. Or to be fair - he didn't feel like Dean was safe around him in Purgatory.

He heard the sound of the bunker door opening and Jody coming in, calling out to him. "Hey! Castiel? We spoke on the phone - you here?" Cas watched at the small brunette woman made her way down the stairs, she was wearing plaid and jeans looking almost like a short female version of Sam.

"Yes. Hello." Cas replied softly as he nodded to her.

Jody smiled. "Huh - Claire's told me a lot about you - well - she told me a bit about you and a bit about her dad and a whole lot of sentences that all roughly translated to 'please go away' without the please."

Castiel suddenly looked ever so slightly stricken. "Is Claire okay? She doesn't... doesn't know does she?"

"Know what?" Jody asked. Dean hadn't told Jody on the phone why she wanted her to watch Cas - but Cas wasn't sure if she knew or not from some other conversation.

"About my... why the Winchesters asked you to keep me company?" he hedged slightly.

"Hey - they didn't even tell me why they wanted me to come here, just that it was important," Jody replied. "Plus - I could use the holiday."

Castiel nodded slowly as he understood her wishes on this.

"Soooo... are you going to tell me why they want me to keep you company?" Jody asked, obviously fishing for information. She was looking at him in a very maternal way.

Castiel hesitated as he opened his mouth a few times. "You won't tell Claire?"

Jody frowned. "I... I promise. I won't tell Claire." This sounded really serious, the gravity of it only aided by Castiel's deep baritone.

Castiel drew a deep breath and let it go all at once. "I'm... I'm pregnant."

There was a long silence as Jody blinked with incomprehension. She slowly raked her eyes over Castiel up and down a few times, taking in the body that formerly belonged to Jimmy Novak. She licked her lips a little as she moved to form her next words carefully.

"You're...."

"Pregnant."

"But you're..."

"An angel."

"So...."

"Normal rules around gender, and physical sex does not necessarily apply," Castiel tried to explain. "Especially since this vessel is... mine. No longer shared by it's original... owner."

"Oh," said Jody softly. "Whose... whose is it?"

Cas looked confused. "Mine... I just told you...."

"Not the body! The baby!"

"Oh... uhm... also - mine," Castiel replied, looking slightly uncomfortable about telling her the full story.

"Okay," Jody said, shaking her head ever so slightly as she accepted his boundary. For a few moments, they just stood there, before the short-haired brunette woman held up her duffle bag. "I'm just going to, unpack. Okay?"

"Yes, good idea," Cas nodded, then moved, picked up the book on pregnancy and sat down to read, trying not to pout like a child at having a babysitter.

Jody went off and bagged a guest room, then moved back to the library where she found Cas was gone. Frowning a little, the sheriff started to hunt the angel through the bunker. Dean would kill her if she let a pregnant angel roam free. However, he ended up that way. Dean was a family man through and through - he just happened to adopt people into his family at random. Since Jody had taken on that self-same trait, she wasn't really in a position to judge the hunter harshly on that.

Eventually, as she walked around the bunker she heard sounds of fighting coming faintly from a room down the hall and   
made for the door. As she opened it she saw Castiel sitting at the foot of an unmade bed watching a TV. Jody blinked as she stood in the doorway - she'd never expected to see that.

"Uhm..." she stood there, not sure what to say, not sure entirely if she should just leave him alone.

"Netflix," Cas replied roughly as if it were an explanation. "Sam and Dean introduced me to it."

"Oh! Is this your room?"

"Sam's."

"Oh. It's... nice...."

"He doesn't like to unpack so much; I think it makes him uncomfortable."

"I could see that." Jody paused. Castiel was looking a little green around his jaw, the "gills" as Jody's mom used to call it, and was cuddling the pregnancy book to his chest. "You okay? You feeling... nauseous?"  
  
"No." he replied then smiled weakly. "Just..."

"Sad?"

"Ripped in half."

Jody blinked a little more, taken aback by it. It was an odd phrase to hear. Moving slowly the brunette shifted until she sat down next to him on the bed, not too close. "Why?"

Cas breathed slowly, as if concentrating on each breath, eyes glued to the TV and misty.

"I, I need Dean," he said softly. Jody put her head to one side as she considered him. "When he moves, the further away he moves, the more... ripped to pieces I feel. I NEED him. I'm. I'm not whole without him."

There was more silence between the two as the action movie played quietly in the background. Jody's eyes hadn't left the profile of the angel next to her.

"He's the father," she said finally, it wasn't a question, it was an undeniable fact and Cas' lack of any movement or acknowledgement was as good as a confession. "And you're in love with him," Jody added the equally factual statement.

"Dean is attracted exclusively to women." Cas replied quietly.

"Yet he slept with you."

"He said it was a mistake. He didn't want to, he regretted it immediately. I did not wish to make him more uncomfortable," Cas said even more quietly than he'd spoken before.

"So you let him think you regretted it too."

"Yes."

"But you don't."

"No."

"Because you love him."

Jody seemed to be pushing this issue, although her voice was gentle and understanding there was a blunt honesty that neither she nor Cas was avoiding.

"Yes."

"How long have you loved him?"

"... Since I raised him from Hell."

Jody gave a small whistle. That was the whole of the time that they had known each other. Castiel may have been a millennia old being. He may be powerful and capable of having watched Dean's existence since he was in the womb. But he had just admitted that the entire time since they'd first had physical contact - he had loved the hunter. The broken, self-loathing, good and protective person that was Dean.

"Why don't you tell him?" Jody asked.

"He knows," Castiel said softly, looking at her now with somewhat plaintive eyes. "I have shown it repeatedly, I have said it... in one way or another. He... He knows. He was even told by others that could see. But - every time he felt... sad, or unhappy or..."

"Or uncomfortable?"

"Yes - uncomfortable when it was brought up."

"But have you actually said the words "I love you" to him?" She pressed.

"No."

"And you won't because you're afraid of scaring him away."

"Yes."

"Do you know if he loves you too?"

"He loves me..." Cas trailed off leaving a small painful pause in the air. "... like a brother."

"Pretty certain he doesn't sleep with Sam."

"I told you that was a mistake." Cas was sounding frustrated and irritated now but rather than back off the issue Jody pressed on as if she were climbing Mt. Everest and being determined to get to the top.

"Was he drunk?"

Cas paused, he opened and closed his mouth a few times as he strained to remember the night that was otherwise forever imprinted upon his mind. "N...no. He had drunk a little - but... he was not impaired. He wasn't drunk."

"Then I don't think it was as much a mistake as you two are trying to convince yourselves it was. It wasn't drunk, you were both consenting adults, you knew - at least on some level - what you were doing. Just because he doesn't want to face up to the implications of it doesn't mean it was a mistake." Jody said, slowly, almost nervously, the woman put out a hand to gently pat the trenchcoated shoulder.

Cas slowly absorbed all this information. "He's straight," he replied finally in a near-stubborn tone.

"There's this story, floating around the internet that Alex talked to death a few months ago, that may or may not be an urban myth. Actually, now I think about it, two. About, one straight guy who lived with a gay roommate and slowly fell in love with him - discovering that he didn't mind his roommate kissing boys - so long as the boy was him - and another where two straight men were roommates and fell in love - they weren't attracted to ANY other men, they didn't fantasize about being in gay relationships - they just... loved each other." Jody said as slowly and deliberately as she could. "One of the stories was on Reddit. The other - I think Alex saw on Tumblr. I try not to look into her internet history too hard so long as it's not illegal - I have more trouble keeping Claire off sites to buy illegal weapons."

Cas tried to give a half-hearted smile at the mention of Claire's interest but inside he was a little sad to hear how changed Claire had become due to his interference in her life - to his taking Jimmy as a vessel.

"The point is. A man can be straight, or... oh shoot - what the hell did Alex call it. One sec - let me text Alex and ask."

"No!" Cas said suddenly in panic. "She might..."

"Okay - okay... I'll... search it online. But she said there's this thing - where someone can be mostly if not completely straight but that love of one person can transcend sexuality. Sexual orientation... lust... these... these things can be transcended by love. You - You have to show him and yourself that it's okay for you two to... to be together."

The sheriff stopped and was momentarily taking stock of what she was saying. She never thought she was going to be telling an angel that it was okay to be in a gay relationship with a man she knew and considered something of a wayward adult nephew. It was by far the weirdest situation yet that she'd been thrown into since her son had come back to life then killed her husband.

"I'm not sure that Dean would accept that. He... sees things in a more... black and white way than some humans." Cas finally said five minutes later as the Netflix action movie had ended and he'd absently just clicked the first recommendation that came up automatically at the end.

"Then you're going to have to convince him. You guys are going to have a child together. You love him. You can't keep that to yourself. You need, to be honest because you're going to need to depend on each other to raise this child."

They watched the show that was playing for a few more moments in silence before Jody moved to get up. "Would you like some tea?" the other topic dropped completely.

Cas looked up at her for a few moments then nodded slowly. "Yes... please."


	6. The Werewolf Cult

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn't very long, and I'm not sure if it's the same level as the other chapters - while I tried to focus on Dean and Sam doing the job, I also didn't want to move too far away from the main theme around Dean and Cas.
> 
> Anyway - self-critique aside - I hope you continue to enjoy.

**Chapter Six**

**The Werewolf Cult**

 

“Hello, I’m Agent Banks, this is Agent Hackett – we’d like to see the body of a John Wigner?” Dean said decisively as he flashed his badge to the morgue attendant, Sam beside him also flashing his ID. The attendant barely even glanced up at them from his paperwork before he pointed them through the door to the examination room.

Dean and Sam exchanged a look with each other before they went into the room, as he walked Dean absentmindedly rubbed his chest by his heart to try and ease a persistent ache there. The brothers approached the body draped in a white sheet with the report on a clipboard on the table next to it. Picking up the report Dean busied himself reading it while Sam pulled back the sheet and made a face.

No matter how often they’d seen dead bodies, or how gross some of the remains were, sometimes the sheer savagery of an attack still left the brothers with tight guts and unhappy feelings. It was never good to be reminded of just how horrifying the world could really be.

“Looks like John here had a fairly...unhealthy lifestyle,” Dean said as he skimmed over the medical problems and the report on the contents of the victim’s stomach.

“So – like you?” Sam half teased.

Dean shot him a slightly annoyed look. “Hey! I work out.”

“Yeah – sure. Remember the 4ft tall gate? Compared to the 6ft fences we used to go over?” Sam replied,

“COME ON! THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO!” Dean protested, rubbing the pain in his chest again with the heel of his palm.

Ignoring the protest and seeming to brush Dean off, Sam moved the subject on. “I don’t know about this Dean – it fits werewolf but... look at these marks... they look almost. I don’t know... ritualistic?”

Dean’s mouth thinned into a slash as he frowned deeply, leaning over the man’s body as he narrowed his eyes while inspecting the marks his brother was pointing to. The hole in the former Mr. Wigner’s chest where his heart should be was the usual messy situation you might expect after a hand rips in, and then rips right back out with a beating organ. The marks Sam was referring to however were not the usual they saw. Making an almost perfect circle several marks looked almost runic. They were scars and apparently premortem rather than post. Like the werewolf needed a target to help them get the right mark.

“Huh.” Dean grunted a little, straightening up, his eyebrows raising a little. Skimming his lip with the back of his left thumb the light brunette hunter tried to think of something more intelligent to say in response to this revelation but came up with a disappointing empty. He couldn’t even think of a joke. He felt a larger pang that he had felt before and had to rub his chest again, biting his lower lip. He missed Sam looking at him for a few moments in concern.

“I’m going to call Cas.” Sam said, and watched as Dean’s face instantly looked like a mixture of worry, concern, and stony – ever so slightly protective - anger.

“What? Why?”

“Because he’s at the bunker and he can look up the lore for us?” Sam replied, giving Dean a look that spoke mostly of confusion but slightly of defence. Sure – he wasn’t as protective as Dean was – but he completely understood and supported WHY his brother was protective of Cas. He didn’t want to put the angel, nor his future niece/nephew in any danger either.

“Oh – yeah –that... that makes sense.” Dean replied, looking both relieved and slightly sheepish at his snapping so quickly to some conclusions. Sam shook his head at his brother as he took his phone out and dialled the number of Cas’ phone.

It barely rung half a single ring before Cas’ deep voice was responding. “Dean?”

“Uhm – no, it’s Sam.” Sam replied, and tried to keep his face composed. Nearly every single time he’d call Cas it was always ‘Dean, where’s Dean, of course – where’s Dean?’ – back before they’d slept together Sam had thought it was because Cas was a little preoccupied with his brother  – but now he was almost positive that it was because Castiel was in love with his brother.

“Oh – hello Sam. Do you wish to speak to Jody?”

“Uhm – no – I was wondering if you could do me and Dean a favour....”

“Of course, I’ll come at once...”

“Wait! No! I just meant – could you look some lore up for us?”

There was a silence on the other end of the line and Sam could swear he almost felt Cas’ disappointment all the way from Kansas. He looked over and saw Dean with his hand out for the phone. He was virtually waving his arm off his body with his attempts to get the phone and Sam tried not to view it as comical.

“Hang on; Dean wants to talk to you,” Sam said and moved to hand the phone on to Dean who took it near eagerly.

“Dean?” Cas’ voice was full of a mixture of desperation and hope. His entire body had immediately relaxed as soon as he had heard that Dean was going to talk to him. Jody watched from where she was with the two cups of tea she in her hands as she looked at Castiel’s body. She recognised the look that was there. The body language, the look in Cas’ eyes. Her husband had worn that look when he’d been with her. She’d had it when she had spoken and spent time with her husband.

“Hey, Cas. How are you?” The pain in Dean’s body and chest eased somewhat and he found himself staggered with the relief, he had no idea he’d been hurting so much without having Cas by him until the pain eased. How had he been standing? How had he been talking? He let his body relax and perch upon a nearby counter. Why had he been hurting? Why was it eased from speaking to Cas?

“I’m... I’m fine.” Cas replied. It didn’t seem right to tell him that he missed him. Not the way Dean felt about such declarations. Not to mention there was an audience for both of them.

“Great – hey – yeah – so... the werewolf pack here? It’s not just cut and dry. Seems theres some marks, look kinda runic, almost like they planned this sort of thing in advance. So we were just wondering if you could rustle anything up on this sort of thing since you’re at the bunker and all.” Dean finished but it was odd the tight feeling he had at the back of his throat. The feeling of something wanting to be said that he just couldn’t bring himself to say. Dean wasn’t even fully sure what it was he wanted to say – but it remained there – a feeling he couldn’t shake.

“Absolutely.”

“Then just call us back.”

“I will.”

“Hey, Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“I... I hope you’re doing okay.”

It felt, oddly, like a cop out of things to say. Dean didn’t understand. He genuinely did hope that Cas was okay, as okay as a pregnant male angel could be, but it felt like there was something more he should be saying but was just not finding it within himself.

“Thank you. I will call you.” Cas replied and they hung up after a long pause as if neither of them really wanted to but neither of them really knew anything else to say.

**\- 2 DAYS 5 HOURS LATER** -

“SAMMY!” Dean’s voice echoed and reverberated off the trees. The hunter lay prone against the tree, his body wracked with pain and only partially from the werewolf scratch down his arm. He hadn’t been bitten, thank Chuck, but he was pretty dinged up and he didn’t know where Sam was.

Sam had run off to get the head of the werewolf cult, they’d taken out a good five of the cult, but the head of it was the strongest, oldest, and still at large. Dean gulped in the air as he got ready to call for his brother again. He didn’t want his brother to face against the werewolf alone, he didn’t want to lose his brother if the cult leader got a jump on him.

Dean struggled to his knees and shuffled, holding his arm to his body as he called out his brother’s name and tried to move along the woods to where his brother had gone. For some reason, despite his desperation to make sure that his brother was okay, he kept getting flashes of Cas in his mind.

He couldn’t die. He couldn’t let his brother die. They needed to BE there. They needed to be there for Cas. For his child. He needed to be by Cas.

He almost blacked out from the pain as he thought about Cas and the distance between them – the possibility of him dying so far from the angel.

A few feet ahead he finally saw Sam, his brother was aiming his gun at the head of the cult who was muttering something – glowing. Dean frowned a little as he struggled to get his own gun out, his left arm useless against his torso as he fumbled with his right hand to try and raise his gun and point it at the cult leader.

He didn’t know if Sam had a clear shot, or if he was under some sort of spell which would explain why he looked so still, frozen.

Just as he was struggling hard to aim at the sound of a gunshot, louder than anything you’d hear on TV, echoing and reverberating on the trees around them, pierced the air and the head of the cult leader suddenly snapped back for a second. The tall, dark brunette hunter, shook hard.

Dean looked at his brother, confused slightly. He hadn’t seen Sam have such a hard time killing a werewolf since Madison.

“What happened?” he asked softly, looking to Sam who shuffled over to Dean, favouring his left leg a little as he did so, the cult leader lay motionless and dead on the cold floor of the forest.

“He... They were trying to raise revenants... raise them...and turn them.”

“Revenant WEREWOLVES!?” Dean asked aghast. “That’s just... that’s just sick.”

“It’s definitely one for the books,” Sam grunted, and gently as he could helped Dean stand fully, putting Dean’s right arm over his shoulder. “Something is wrong about this Dean... I think... I think we’re just touching the surface of something here – he mentioned... before you came he said something about others...”

“That’s never good,” Dean grunted slightly.

“Yeah... let's clean up and then go home.”

Dean groaned gently – the groan speaking of a longing he hadn’t expressed until now. He wanted to go home... he NEEDED to go home. But when he thought about home right now... he wasn’t thinking about the bunker specifically.

He was thinking about Cas.

Why was he thinking about Cas?


	7. Symbi-what now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again - I am sorry for all delays - I can't really help the whole health thing and I will shortly be upgrading to a new computer my Uncle has so graciously built for me from parts I have acquired (that sounds so mob-like - I mean completely legally buying them over time).
> 
> I hope that I've moved the plot along a little in this chapter but I'm a little worried about it - as always feedback, comments and so on are my life blood. So please - comment - even if it's to say that I'm doing something wrong.
> 
> You can find a meal planner based on pregnancy trimester at babycenter.co.uk which I used for reference (during my own pregnancy I jus' basically lived off cheeseburgers, spaghetti bolognese and so many oranges.... I wasn't the healthiest expectant mother).

**Chapter Seven**

**Symbi-what now?**

 

**It was the first hug**. The first hug that Castiel or Dean had given each other, especially in public, since they had told Sam that Cas was pregnant.

It was a little awkward as they approached each other, hands and arms outstretched, not quite sure which was going to go left or right. As soon as hands were on shoulders however the two men pulled each other close as if they'd die from a distance of six inches. They didn't look in a hurry to let go while they were at it either.

Jodi and Sam stood side by side watching them. Jodi was trying and failing to suppress a smirk while Sam looked slightly more concerned. The two men were clinging together like they were going to drown if they didn't.

That's when Cas actually fell. His body slumped into Dean's arms, the dark haired angel's knees buckling, leading to the hunter picking him up in an almost bridal like fashion and carrying him to a nearby sofa to lay him down. Cas' mumbled an apology and Dean shushed over it as he stroked Cas' cheek to check for a temperature. A gentle gesture that seemed a little out of character for his recent slightly more gruff approach to this whole situation.

Coming forward the taller brunette Hunter frowned even more deeply than before. "That.... can't be a good sign," Sam murmured.

"It's... It's okay - I actually feel better.." Cas replied quietly his eyes closed, a hand gently holding on to Dean's wrist so he wouldn't move away.

Dean grunted in almost affirmation. "I... know what Cas means," he said as he looked over at Sam who was looking more concerned and confused as this conversation dragged on.

"What are you two talking about? He just collapsed!"

"I mean - I was... I was feeling pretty awful. _A LOT_ of pain Sam, not, not normal pain. Like there was this rip in my chest that was getting bigger and bigger - until Cas, and I made contact. Then I felt... great. Normal. Better than normal. I haven't felt this good in years." he replied and a little rosy flush began to creep up onto his cheeks. "If... if Cas hadn't beaten me to the punch I'd have probably collapsed too. You know that feeling when something is so good you almost can't withstand it? You get overwhelmed by the feeling?" This was perhaps the most Dean had ever spoken about his feelings in a while.

Cas started to pat Dean's shoulder in a reassuring manner as the angel sat up slowly. There was a small silent fight flashing between the green and blue eyes as Dean tried to convince Cas to not sit up and Cas stubbornly refused to spend the rest of this conversation lying down.

"That kind of makes sense," Jodi interrupted finally. "Cas was pretty bad while you two were gone. He described it as being torn in two." she looked at Cas and mouthed 'Sorry' for telling on him to the Hunters.

Sam blinked. "So you two - while you were separated felt lots of pain - but now that the both of you are together again - you feel right?"

Dean didn't like where this train of thought was going, and he wasn't even sure he knew where it was going at all. He didn't like it one little bit. Whenever Sam spelt something out this slowly, and this dumbed down, it was bound to be trouble for Dean. Bad news...

"It sounds like, almost, I think that since Cas got pregnant, you guys are now... connected." Sam finished his thought quietly while he looked earnestly at the couple on the sofa.

"Connected?" Dean said looking confused.

"Like - a form of symbiosis."

"Symbi-what now?" the movement of Dean's eyebrows teamed with his expression as he said this was almost comical, were this situation not beyond extremely grave right at this moment.

"Symbiosis. Like - you two are connected and need each other to live. You need to be close to each other; I think you need to be near each other to survive right now. Or at least not feel an immense deal of pain. Who knows what would have happened if you two had been separated longer - you might have... died."

"Symbiosis.... what... like that thing to do with Star Trek? That spotted chick in DS9?"

"God - Dean - you are SUCH a Trekker," Sam groaned as he thrust a hand through his hair, tussling it in his frustration. For all of Dean's jock like behaviour, there were some times when he was a complete nerd enough to rival Sam himself. "But yeah. Except you don't have to be physically in contact - I don't think - just... near each other."

Dean gave a groan that spoke volumes of annoyance and exhaustion - yet there was a small undercurrent, barely detectable, that suggested he wasn't entirely unhappy with the thought going through his mind. "That means I'm on lockdown here in the bunker doesn't it?"

"Pretty much, I wouldn't want to risk separating you two again, and we don't want to take a pregnant Angel out in the field," Sam replied softly giving a puppy-dog look of apology. "If merely being in contact again can lead to collapsing I don't like the idea of what might happen to the child."

"I could go with you on jobs..." Cas suggested quietly, quietly arguing against Sam's statement, as he looked at Dean trying to make things up to the hunter however he might.

Dean shook his head. "No. Not happening. We're going to be on lore duty and preparing for parenting here at the bunker. I'm not risking you and our child."

Cas tried not to look disappointed at his condition having led to Dean being virtually grounded. It was the expression on Dean's face right now that cheered the angel up the most. He didn't look sad. Dean hated being stuck in the bunker on lore duty - he liked the open road. As much as he loved his room - the first rom that had really been his since he was four - he was much more at home doing the active part of hunting rather than the research part. Dean being content with being in the bunker with Cas was an alien thought to the pregnant angel.

Jody looked at the three men and internally threw up her hands in submission. It was impossible sometimes with men to get them to see the nose on their face and Jody was not about to try and interfere like some mother bear. Hell, with Dean the way he was currently, they already had a mother bear here and Jody was needed back in Sioux Falls.

"Well - if you guys don't need me right now - might as well head on back - or would you rather I stick around for a while?" Jody asked as she looked between the three of them once more.

Sam opened his mouth for a few precious seconds as if to reply to her question and perhaps protest her leaving, his body turning slightly toward the sheriff and then he was cut off by Dean's gruff voice. "We're going to be just great, Jody - thank you. Pass on our love to Alex and Claire."

"I will do that," Jody reassured Dean and the rest of them with a nod in their direction. "And they will call you dorks." with that message covered Jody picked up her bag and walked to the door, yelling a goodbye as she left.

Sam looked between Dean and Castiel on the sofa with his mouth forming a disapproving line. He didn't like the shoving out of Jody since it left him trying to wrangle two - and if they tried to pull the democracy bit on him, then he was extremely outvoted. That being said he could probably count of Dean to vote on the side of common sense... or overprotective sense.

"So," Dean started to fill the awkward silence of Sam's disappointment and Cas' bemusement, "Shall I cook dinner? I'm going to go cook dinner."

The freckle-faced hunter moved from the sofa, giving Cas' hand a reassuring squeeze as the angel gave a faint whimper, and headed to the kitchen.

Sometime later Dean was serving up the first batch of frittatas as Sam and Cas came into the kitchen and sat at the table. Sam had a book on pregnancy in his hands and was frowning at a page. "The only thing I can get on attachments is attachment parenting..." he muttered almost darkly for a semi-innocuous sentence.

"I don't understand. Are not all parents attached to their children?" Cas asked looking concerned and confused in equal measure.

"Yes - but uhm - no - that's not what it means. Attachment parenting is this whole deal where the parents never put the child down - always in physical contact - sleep with the baby in the bed..." Sam said attempting to explain.

Cas nodded slowly although it seemed an exceedingly sure bet that some of Sam's explanation had gone straight over the angel's head.

"We're not doing that," Dean said firmly toward the angel. "Sleeping in the same bed with the baby is dangerous - there was a whole news report that the doctors sent out..." his voice trailed off as a blush crept from his neck to his cheeks while he couldn't meet the younger hunter's gaze.

The long drawn out absence of any sound beyond the breathing of the three men and the sizzling of the grill caused the elder hunter no end of uncomfortable feelings while he faced the raised eyebrows of his sibling. "The news was on in a motel room, and I happened to catch that report!" he defended himself verbally from unspoken, probably imagined, attacks.

"You watched the news in a motel? Instead of porn?" Sam asked incredulously at this action that seemed so out of character with the libidinous creature he knew his brother to be. Then again - this was not taking into account the part of his brother which liked to watch 'Dr. Sexy, MD' and telenovelas. The peculiar dissonance between his guilty pleasure watching habits and his gruff demeanour on top of the work he did was almost like Bobby Singer.

Sam let the thought wash over him as he tried not to reel too hard from its implications. More and more, every day.... Dean was turning a little bit into Bobby. He even had a tendency to let his stubble grow out a tiny amount longer than usual sometimes. It made some sense - Dean had been around Bobby as much as Sam had and the surrogate father figure was bound to rub off on the two younger hunters. They both missed Bobby with a burning ache in every inch of their souls. Bobby would've loved the bunker's resources.

Dean gave a frittata to Sam and then gave Cas a cranberry with soft cheese wrap, a few grapes and an orange. Cas looked at Dean curiously.

"Eating eggs that are even vaguely undercooked or not completely hard-boiled and cooked through is very bad for pregnancy, and I don't want to risk it. Besides - I found this on the internet...." Dean said, holding up what looked to be a meal planner based on pregnancy trimester. "I figured it might be the best way to ensure everything is okay."

Cas blinked once more. It struck the angel once again that Dean cared about the wellbeing of their child -even if the conception of the child bothered Dean. Dean was going to make an amazing father. But was Cas going to be able to screw up his courage and confess to Dean his love? His love that went beyond brotherly?

He opened his mouth for a moment, then closed it again and finally just began to eat. Now wasn't the time - not in front of Sam. They would have an opportunity to be alone again - at least so Cas hoped - and then he'd be able to talk to him.

The holy hush of a group of people eating fell over the table in the kitchen and Dean kept sneaking glances at Cas - slowly working his way through the meal accosted no doubt by the taste of molecules rather than the sum of its parts, a problem with the angel eating that Sam had told Dean about - and swallowed deeply. Dean kept remembering what it was like to kiss Cas and he had visions in his head of doing so, while Cas held their child. Of kissing the angel on the cheek as Cas sat and fed their offspring.

He quietly shook his head to free his brain of the images in hopes that he would regain some semblance of sanity. He was straight dammit! It was a one-time thing! Wasn't it?


	8. Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is not used to being trapped inside, he has never managed to handle it well, this time is not just no different but apparently intensified. Castiel shows that saints are not the only heavenly bodies to have patience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look - I'm not going to apologise for this being sooooo late since the last update... on the grounds that I have a chronic illness, multiple disabilities, I didn't even set a real update date, and if I apologise every single time it'll be at the beginning of every chapter... well it'd be super repetitious. I wish I had more energy to give to my writing - I really do. I also understand the frustration of waiting for so long for something to be updated.
> 
> Hopefully, the following chapter will be good enough to assuage any pain over the length of time you've had to wait.

**Chapter Eight**

**Inside**

 

**Dean prowled.**

 

He was that kind of person. He prowled around the bunker as one might expect to see a lion prowling along the edge of their cage. Every room was trekked around to the point that Dean was assuredly capable of navigating the entire bunker with his eyes closed, blindfolded, and all the lights off. It wasn't as if this was the first time he had been on lockdown in the bunker, or even in a motel room, but it was one of the first times he was on lock down for at least a month possibly two, knowing that it would be at least that long, to begin with. This wasn't just foreseeable future, this was for at least as long as Cas was going to be pregnant possibly even for a while after the birth. His prowling had slowly caused Sam to feel like he was losing his mind (again). Which meant the taller hunter had taken to going on a lot of solo hunting trips. Or visiting Jody, or Garth, or just about anyone that would mean that he was away from the bunker for a week or so at a time.

 

Cas had no such escape, after all, the entire purpose of Dean being on lock down was so that he and Cas wouldn't be separated for any long periods of time. Despite Dean's obvious discomfort at his virtual incarceration, the angel showed a surprising level of patience that he had rarely shown to exercise before now. Although Cas was capable of, and indeed had sometimes, waiting for millennia such waiting had not been present often among the Winchesters. Something about the hunters had always had a tendency to leave his feathers ruffled. Their frantic, or frenetic, energy seeped into his form and he couldn't help reflect their impatience back to them sometimes. This time was different however, Cas wasn't pacing around the bunker like Dean. Although he had noted that the hunter was nearly always in the same room as him. Except for breaks to sleep, the rooms that Dean marched and circumnavigated were always the rooms that Cas was in at the time. Like Dean was orbiting the pregnant angel.

 

It had been two weeks and eight days since the brothers had returned from their hunt and Sam had espoused his idea that they were now in a state of symbiosis. The two of them had become more drawn to each other in platonic physical ways. As if they needed each other close - and in close proximity to each other Castiel felt as if he was perfectly whole. Perfectly contented. Even his initial distress as he started to show was calmed by Dean's mere presence without him having to say or do anything. Which was lucky because the hunter had become more distraught at Castiel's growing abdomen than the angel had been. It turned out the placement of what Castiel had been calling a pouch (an inaccurate term given that he was not a marsupial), was very similar to where a womb was in human females, so the growth of his stomach was very similar to that which you would see in a pregnant woman. The way that Castiel had found to calm Dean down about his starting to show was to wear loose fitting shirts that he didn't tuck into his pants for a change.

 

Dean had continued with making sure that Castiel got three solid pregnancy trimester appropriate meals a day, at least two snacks and lots of drinks and vitamins. This level of mother hen Dean around Castiel did not help the angel keep his patience but somehow he managed. It was the nights that really got to the two of them.

 

Castiel was so unused to sleep, aside from when he had been human or severely injured/dying, that he tended to just walk around the bunker at night or sit in the library reading. This level of nocturnal activity from the angel caused Dean no end of aggravation. He wanted the angel to sleep. He didn't know why - but it felt like Castiel wasn't getting rest like he should be. The arguments had been... intense... which led to much sulking and silent treatment on both sides. It wasn't that Castiel didn't think Dean was wrong - it was that he didn't even know if he could fall off to sleep, let alone how to try. He had once or twice tried lying in his bed quietly for some hours - but he just became bored. So he had gotten up in the middle of the night, and for some reason, he didn't quite understand, went to the kitchen and made grilled cheese.

 

That had pissed Dean off no end because it wasn't on the approved food list he'd spent so much time putting together. It was through this particular fight that they discovered Castiel's first real craving for something other than contact with Dean.

 

Cheese. Not just grilled cheese, but cheeseburgers. Horribly unhealthy, inappropriate pregnancy food, and Castiel was climbing the walls to get his hands on some. He even, having stolen some money from Dean's wallet, bribed Sam to get him some cheeseburgers. Something Sam had done only because it gave him an excuse to leave the bunker for a shopping trip and had lead to Dean almost hunting the younger brother down.

 

"You know - you're being _really_ selfish Castiel!" Dean shouted one night as Cas had locked himself in his room, eating a plate of grilled cheese he'd snuck out of the kitchen.

 

"You're the one that's being so angry about this Dean." Castiel responded he knew that Dean was mad because he wasn't calling him 'Cas' like normal.

 

"You're pregnant with  _ **our**_ child Cas,  _ **ours**_ \- not just  _yours_. You're putting them at risk!"

 

"I mean - how much of a risk is it really though?" Sam asked from down the corridor, leaning against a doorpost as he looked at Dean pacing back and forth outside of Castiel's room. "I mean - if this is a pregnancy craving isn't it one of the ways the body tells the mother what she's low on and needs?"

 

Dean flashed Sam such a glower the younger hunter put up his hands and backed off, going to a room to ride out the rest of the fight.

 

"You're getting _all_ the right nutrients and vitamins Cas, I know because I've checked it over eight damn times. Why do you keep doing this?"

 

"I don't _know_ Dean. I just have to."

 

"Because it's a **craving**!" Sam's shout could be heard from the other room.

 

"You shut your face, Sammy!" Dean bit back at equal volume.

 

"Cas, this isn't like you. You don't steal." he sighed. "This like the whole Famine thing all over again."

 

"Yes," Castiel responded, after swallowing another bite. "I think your brother is correct. I believe this is a craving."

 

"Yeah? Well, it's a bad one. You could put the baby at risk."

 

"Dean, aside from the desire to eat the grilled cheese and cheeseburgers, I feel fine. There is nothing to indicate that our child is unwell."

 

"And we don't exactly have a way of checking! It's not like we can take you to a Doctor and have an ultrasound or blood tests! Cas - we need to be extra careful!" It was at this point that Castiel noticed Dean's voice went strained. The worry was obviously straining the hunter severely.

 

A few moments later Castiel unlocked and opened his door. Dean immediately barging into the room and picking up the now empty plate before staring at Castiel accusingly. "That's it - no more access to the kitchen without me. 24/7 - you are going to be with me... I don't want to let you out of my sight."

 

"You already don't let me out of your sight for a similar approximation of time, breaking only for the bathroom and sleep." Castiel pointed out. Dean was flushed now and humphing.

 

The end of the argument came when Dean gave Castiel the silent treatment but was a lot closer to Cas than he had been. He sat next to Castiel, virtually pressed to the angel's side, he watched Castiel's every bite of food, he slept on the floor across Castiel's bedroom door at night so that the angel couldn't go and get midnight snacks without him knowing about it (something Sam had told him was vaguely stalker-level creepy). Dean even considered using the angel cuffs on Castiel so he couldn't move from a certain spot while he was going to the bathroom. Fortunately, he didn't go that far, since despite Dean's feelings - Castiel wasn't a prisoner.

 

It was after the third day of this that Sam sat Dean down, somewhat forcefully, and told him to knock it off.

 

"Look - I don't know or care how you two got into this mess, and I definitely don't want to hear details. But this has to end. You're driving Cas over the edge, he ate grilled cheese for god sakes! This isn't like when he cut a deal with Crowley. You're treating him like shit!" Sam growled a little. "You can't keep doing this to him. He didn't really do anything wrong - the only one being a major jackass here is you. He's going to be the... mother.... father..." he faltered, "the person that is going to have your child. Do you really want to treat him like this?"

 

"No! But I'm scared okay! I can't... I can't do this without him... and I just..." Dean swallowed hard. "I don't know. I can't... not do this either."

 

Sam blinked. "What?"

 

"Ever since he told me he was pregnant I just... I couldn't... I couldn't... not become a father - I need to see our baby alive. But I can't, I can't be the kid's only father okay? I can't do this alone. Not without Cas. If he or the baby got hurt... we don't exactly have a doctor around who can help us out okay? We have to be careful -  _really_ careful - about everything! I mean - I can't make him sleep - but the least I can do is make sure he eats the right things, and gets some sort of rest. I just... I just want them..." Dean cut himself off, looking away from Sam. It took his brother a few moments to realise that Dean was actually fighting back tears.

 

"Look man - I know you're scared, worried, I'm sorry. But - but this isn't going to help solve things. You don't want to drive him away - he looks more and more miserable as this goes on. You guys have got to call peace now before you two can't get past this." Sam got up and left after that, knowing that Dean probably needed a little space.

 

A few hours later Castiel had gone to his room to see a covered plate on his bed. Frowning slightly the angel picked up the cover and saw underneath was two slices of grilled cheese. A note was tucked under the plate. Castiel was surprised to see Dean's handwriting.

 

'Sorry'. It read.

 

The smile that came to the angel's lips unbidden was a surprise but a happy one as warmth spread out from his chest to the rest of his body.

 

* * *

 

 

It was an accident.

 

Much like the one that got them into all of this. Although not nearly as intense.

 

Three days after Dean had conceded his side on the grilled cheese issue, he and Cas had been sitting close together, as usual, watching a TV show. The two of them had kept up the extreme proximity of sitting together because it just made the two men feel better. Occasionally their thighs would touch, or they'd end up having their hands brush each other's, little things that they ignored, or caused them to move slightly so as to stop the contact. More on Dean's side than on Castiel's, but the angel didn't want the hunter to feel overly uncomfortable so he went out of his way to not push him in areas he wouldn't like.

 

They were sitting closer than usual, were that possible, so they could both see the screen with ease but Dean didn't seem to mind. Castiel was only half paying attention to the show, part of his brain concentrating on how extraordinarily it felt to be this close to Dean without the hunter shifting away. He enjoyed the feeling of the hunter's body heat and the level of contentedness he was feeling caused him to have this buzzing sensation all over his body. His brain felt fuzzy and warm in a pleasant way.

 

A few moments later - Castiel leant his head against Dean's shoulder. Dean had jumped slightly and was about to tell Castiel to straighten up when he noticed the angel's soft steady breathing. The closed eyes and realised that the angel had actually gone to sleep on him. Having nagged at the angel for weeks to actually sleep the surprise completely knocked the wind out of him. He sat there still as a statue for almost ten minutes after before he started to feel a warm fuzziness as well. Deciding that Cas needed to sleep in a bed rather than sitting up in a chair - Dean carefully got up, moving in slow deliberate moves, trying to not unsettle the angel too much, and with quite a bit of effort picked Cas up bridal style once again.

 

He carried the softly snoring angel to his bedroom and settled him down over the covers. It was kind of cute that Cas snored and Dean couldn't help the slight smirk crossing his lips as he straightened up and headed toward the door.

 

"Dean?" Castiel's voice sounded, it wasn't sleepy - not even a little and as Dean looked back at him he saw the angel sitting up as if he'd never been asleep.

 

"Oh come on!" Dean grunted annoyed. "You were finally asleep!"

 

"I don't feel sleepy."

 

"Feel it right now or not - you were whacked out man. Fell asleep on my shoulder, snoring and everything." he paused. "I just got you to bed before you started drooling on me."

 

"Drooling?" Cas looked confused.

 

_God, he's adorable._ Dean thought quietly and then swallowed. He didn't need to start having _those_ thoughts again. "Look, I don't know man. All I know is that one minute we were watching TV, the next you were sleeping on my shoulder, I carry you here - the instant I step back suddenly you're awake like you have been for hours."

 

The thought sunk in slowly for both of them. Then Dean frowned.

 

"No, oh no. I'm not some... this is.... Oh, come on!"

 

"Your brother did hypothesize that we were now in a symbiotic relationship to each other... that could explain why I fell asleep while in contact with you - but not once that contact was broken. We have not been in contact while I've tried to sleep before now."

 

"So I'm some sort of missing link to you actually going to sleep?" Dean asked incredulously. "That's not fair!"

 

Castiel frowned and furrowed his brow at Dean. "I don't know why I fell asleep on you Dean. I am perfectly happy to go without sleep."

 

"But you're not okay Cas," Dean whined, his hand waving at Cas' general direction. "I mean - look at you - you've been getting more worn out by the day, even Sammy's noticed the bags under your eyes." He groaned. "You need... to sleep."

 

Castiel put his head to one side slightly as he looked into Dean's green eyes. His own blue ones tired, no matter how he sounded, Castiel did need sleep, and the few minutes he'd gotten on Dean's shoulder right now had felt very good. Not that the angel wished to tell Dean that since it obviously made him very uncomfortable.

 

A few moments later Dean cursed once more. "Fine - get in the bed. I'll sit next to you." he pointed his finger at Castiel in a firm manner. "We are  _not_ spooning! Hear me?"

 

"What's spooning?" Castiel asked as he sat back on the bed and was pushed into a lying down position by Dean gently.

 

"Ugh - I'm look - I'm not telling you right now," Dean grumbled, perching on one side of the bed signs of his being uncomfortable written all over his body language. Almost shyly he took the angel's hand in his, looking across the room at anything but Cas and with cheeks so red he could guide planes to a runway.

 

Castiel held Dean's hand and tried closing his eyes. But it didn't feel as warm and fuzzy as their last contact. He tried for a few minutes before he opened his eyes and shifted his position a little. "I don't feel sleepy. Perhaps it was a... fluke?" he said the word like he wasn't sure it was a real word.

 

Dean sighed, he shifted as well. "Yeah - maybe," he said, letting go of Cas' hand. Castiel looked at Dean apologetically. It didn't help because Dean was determined that Cas needed sleep. He couldn't keep up this ragged routine anymore. "Okay - well - lets try... try the shoulder thing," he said looking beyond embarrassed and making sure he was as close to Cas as he had been when they'd watched TV. Lying down next to the angel on the bed. The beds weren't really made for two people but they could fit when close together.

"Shoulder thing?" Castiel asked confused.

 

"Yeah - you fell asleep on my shoulder... so - lay your head on my shoulder." Dean near grumbled. "Come on man, we don't have all day."

 

"Actually, we have..."

 

"Just do it, will you?!? Before I change my mind?" Dean replied, looking up determinedly at the ceiling.

 

With a look that showed he had many doubts about this idea Castiel lay his head against Dean's shoulder and instantly felt at peace.

 

A few minutes later he'd fallen back asleep and it wasn't too long before Dean joined him, both feeling fuzzy and warm.

 

 


	9. Baby Showers and Sleeping Arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and friends decide it is a good idea to throw a baby shower - and the two expectant fathers are learning how to deal with how their new living arrangement is evolving.

**Chapter Nine**

**Baby Showers and Sleeping Arrangements**

 

They slept peacefully for just over nine hours. The rest had done an amazing amount for both of them in feeling calm. The calm came off them in waves and stayed with the two of them all through breakfast and most of the morning until Sam came into the library where they were reading with an almost wicked grin on his face. Castiel had completely finished the pregnancy book - despite seeing much that was not relevant to him - he had both been calmed and terrified by some of the information that had been contained in the book. He was now reading one on proper care of infants and their key development stages. Dean was reading a book on Nephilim. He had looked at all the existing pregnancies and growth rates after the birth. There was so little known given that so many Nephilim had been killed by angels on Heaven's orders as soon as they found out about them.

 

"Okay guys - we're going to have some fun," Sam said, still grinning that wicked smile at them both.

 

"Fun?" Castiel asked, his voice and expression were both dubious about this suggestion. Whatever Sam was planning the angel very much doubted that he was going to have 'fun'.

 

"Yeah! Jody's coming back, Garth and his wife are coming over, a couple of more friends, I think even Claire is coming..." Sam said and was cut off abruptly by one panicked angel.

 

"CLAIRE!? Here!?" he looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

 

"Yes - calm down," Sam said gently - yet firmly. "She has to find out sometime - and it might as well be this weekend."

 

"Exactly _why_ is it she has to find out sometime?" Cas asked in a surly manner and Dean looked up his eyebrows furrowed. That was a far more 'together' and sarcastic sentence than he was used to hearing from the all too often, all too literal, Angel of the Lord.

 

"Well, because, after the pregnancy, there's going to be this thing we generally call a baby. And however technically you like to swing it - she or he or whatever is going to be Claire's half-sibling." Sam replied still calmly. "She's going to want to know. No matter how weird it is. It's not like she's not used to weird by now - she's hunting for crying out loud. How long did you think you were going to be able to keep it from her?"

 

"We don't exactly talk, Sam, so I thought I could manage quite a while." Cas' voice was extremely grumpy at this point as he near pouted at the taller hunter.

 

"Well - too bad. She's coming to the baby shower this weekend - so you might as well tell her since everyone else is bringing presents."

 

"I'm still pregnant- how exactly can we shower the baby?" the blue eyes that Dean had attempted to pretend he didn't find stunning within the past few months were narrowed and confused.

 

"It's just the name used for a kind of party. Where the expectant parents are given gifts by their friends that will help them when the baby arrives and also - humiliate them with games such as melting chocolate in a diaper."

 

Dean made a choking noise. "Sam, can we not? Who the hell came up with this idea anyway?"

 

"Jody and I both came up with it."

 

"Oh - you and Jody have girl talks now? It's the hair, isn't it? Does she braid your hair?" Dean was sighing as he put the book he'd been reading down. "Sammy, I always knew you were a girl - but do you have to drag me and Cas into it?"

 

" _ **Me**_  drag you? You're the one who knocked up a _male_ angel! I'm just making the best of a weird situation here Dean. Besides - you need some of the things they're bringing and it'd be good to have some people other than us know? Since - y'know - you might need baby sitters capable of fighting off whatever big bad or angel might come after your nephilim child!?" It seemed that Sam had been pressed a little too hard and was now venting some of his discomforts all over the other two. While Dean looked like he had no idea what to say, Cas looked merely like he'd given up on saying anything. There was no point in trying to point out that angels didn't strictly have a gender yet again.

 

"Okay. Fine. We're having a baby shower. When?" Dean finally said once he'd found his voice and thought through what he was going to say.

 

"Two days. They'll be here in two days. It's not going to be so bad. And in the meantime... Cas can break to Claire what exactly it is she's coming to and why." Sam replied softly.

 

Cas looked stricken. This was going to be one of the most uncomfortable and awkward conversations Castiel had ever in his long existence with the exception of the few scant weeks ago, or so it felt, that he'd told Dean he was pregnant with their child. Only now he was going to have to go over all of the same ground all over again with a teenage girl who had raging hormones and unresolved issues with both Castiel and Dean which meant this was going to not just be uncomfortable but downright dangerous. Not only was the blonde going to see her father's former body starting to grow with a child, she was going to know that Dean, the man she blamed for killing her second father figure, was the other parent.

 

The angel hadn't looked this panicked and unsure of what to do since Dean had taken him to a bordello.

 

Dean looked at Cas and winced a little. "Hey? You want me to tell her instead?"

 

"N...no." Castiel eventually croaked out after looking at Dean blankly for a few moments. "I... I should do this. She should hear it from me."

 

With that shaky assertion from the angel he picked up his phone and left the room so that he could have some privacy as he spoke to his surrogate daughter. The conversation was long. At the end of it, Castiel didn't know if it had gone well or badly. All he knew was that Claire was still coming to the baby shower and insisted on seeing both him and Dean upon her arrival. The angel absentmindedly placed a hand on his small growing bump and gently stroked at the protrusion. He could feel the slightest of movements from the foetus, like gently tickling butterflies in his stomach.

 

* * *

 

 

Sitting at one of the central tables in the library and attempting to concentrate on the text of the book in front of him, some treatise on angels that got quite a few things wrong about the feathery brethren, Dean closed his eyes for a second and then opened them once more with a sigh. As he read the writing seemed to change, like when he had been infected with ghost sickness some years ago, except instead of writing asking him if he was going to cry about dying - the highlighted changed words were slightly more... inappropriate?

 

'You want him.' replaced the words 'a seraph's wings'. 'Lick, bite, nibble...' Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and then shook his head trying to concentrate properly. 'You want to fuck him again'... 'You're a coward, Dean'. Dean shut the book firmly and shoved it away from him across the table and almost jumped as he noticed Castiel standing by the table looking at him curiously with his intense blue eyes.

 

"Cas!" He almost gasped. Green eyes wide as the angel seemed to almost stalk toward him trapping him as the angel put his hands on the arms of the chair that Dean was sitting in. Castiel's breath was on the hunter's nose as he near glowered, his eyes narrowing, while looking at Dean with an intensity that only Castiel could pull off.

 

"Why are you afraid of this? Why do you insist that you 'don't swing this way'? Do you think that this... what's between us... makes you gay? Are you really willing to push me away because you care that much about how people perceive you?" Cas' voice was low and grumbly from his chest. Dean felt a small thrill going up his spine, starting at the base before it seemed to hit his brain and he shivered.

 

"I... I don't swing that way...." his voice was weak, even he didn't believe it as the words hit his ears.

 

"Stop. Lying. You want this. You aren't lesser for wanting love Dean - it doesn't matter where it comes from, what or whom you love and their gender - you still deserve it."

 

He was just sat there, the angel pinning him inside the chair, Castiel didn't move closer - he was just there looming above the hunter and staring at him. He was waiting for Dean to move. To chose what he wanted to do. It was all on Dean. Castiel wasn't going to do anything without Dean's consent but he was going to wait it out until Dean chose - properly chose - what he wanted. Staring at the angel's eyes the hunter took in the man's face, his eyes occasionally darting to the man's soft pillow like lips, before going back to the intense eyes.

 

He couldn't remember moving. He couldn't remember making the decision. Dean just felt his lips meet Castiel's fiercely as his hands bunched in the angel's trench coat lapels. Dean stood up, moving Castiel bodily as they kissed, pushing the angel up against the table and starting to push the coat off the angel. Dean's breath was short in harsh gasps, and his hands were running all over the angel that had gripped him tight and raised him from perdition all those years ago. As he kissed the angel he moved his mouth to start kissing and nipping along the man's jaw, down to his neck. Dean was undoing Castiel's belt while the angel, whimpering with desire, began to undo Dean's own belt and jeans. The heat coming off their skin was almost intolerable - they needed their clothes off, they needed to explore each other.

 

Dean virtually ripped Castiel's shirt off and began to kiss, nip, and lick down the man's chest. Moving his lips to tease his tongue over Castiel's nipple while he finally tugged both Castiel's pants and boxers down at the same time. Freeing the angel's hardening member. Castiel shuddered and whimpered. "Dean...." the man's voice growled softly.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean jerked awake where he lay on the bed next to Castiel, the angel's head resting on his arm, Castiel's hand was gently resting on Dean's forearm and it appeared that the angel was almost cuddling Dean's arm. He was sleeping peacefully and didn't seem disturbed by Dean's sudden waking. Nor had he been disturbed by Dean's soft moaning of the man's name a few moments before.

 

Dean shifted uncomfortably as he gently pressed the palm of his free hand against his hard cock, feeling the sticky wetness on his underwear that proved he'd just had a wet dream like he was a teenager again. The dream was still in his mind and the words of the dream Castiel echoed in his mind. 'Why are you afraid of this?'

 

He would get up and clean up but Castiel needed the rest since today was the day of the baby shower. Dean just lay there in the dark staring in the direction of the ceiling and willing for his member to slowly go down. The most disturbing thought that crossed his mind was that as much as the intense dream had turned him on severely and confirmed there was something there... Dean swallowed. No- the most disturbing thought was that he remember now... that this was not the first dream of that type to feature the angel.

 

* * *

 

 

When Claire arrived she immediately pulled Castiel and Dean aside and started bawling them out - giving a good long lecture about practising safe sex and making sure they knew just exactly how weird this whole situation was. The men stared at the teenage girl almost guiltily and nodded slowly at her. The idea was comical that a teenage girl was informing her pseudo-parental father figures to practise safe sex, a lecture that surely should be going the other way.

 

Finally - a minimum of an hour later - Claire finally ran out of steam and hugged Castiel, before asking if she could touch the bump that was fairly visible in the t-shirt that Castiel was wearing under his white shirt. Castiel consented and Claire rubbed the belly. They all went into the library where Sam had set up decorations and everyone else had put presents on the table and moved forward to congratulate the couple. Jody was quiet as she just hugged the pair - knowing they didn't really need her to say anything.

 

Garth was completely unfazed and apparently very excited for the pair of them, he also announced that his wife was pregnant with their own offspring and excitedly suggested that the future werewolf and nephilim had play dates set up. Dean looked pale so the excited former-hunter was encouraged to let the subject drop by Sam who distracted him with food.

 

The party lasted for 3 hours and Castiel was bemused by the diaper genie, changing mat, a few maternity shirts that had caused his eyebrows to skyrocket to his hairline after they were explained to him. The rest of the presents were all put into the room that Dean had picked out earlier for their offspring. The most surprising, and slightly terrifying, gift was a small package that when opened showed an angel teddy bear and a small blanket - the card saying it was from Crowley. Castiel looked at Dean terrified by the idea that the King of Hell knew about the pregnancy. This... was not good news as far as the residents of the bunker were concerned.

 

If the demons knew... likely the angels did too.


	10. Concern and Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in my entire writing career - I have a beta reader. I'd like to thank globear for being the BEST editor I could have asked for - she really helped and I think this is probably going to be one of my better chapters even if it is short as she helped with grammar that slips by me due to my dyslexia. I hope you all enjoy.

**Chapter Ten**

**Concern and Confession**

 

Crowley knew.

  
Crowley _knew_.

  
 _Crowley_ knew.

  
Crap.

The silence and deathly pale complexion of the angel as the blood completely drained from Castiel's face. That helped the information, all of the various consequences that such information meant, sink in that much more for Dean. In an uncharacteristic mimic of Sam when he was stressed, Dean found himself running his hand through his short brown hair. He looked at Sam, a look in his eyes that spoke not just volumes but the entire collection of the Library of Congress level of volumes.  
Sam nodded, he got the other guests out of there with apologies as the party ended. Sam then locked the bunker tight, before making sure that the warding for the entire place was up; Triple checking that said warding was still in place for both demons and angels. The last thing they needed right now was for the expectant couple to be dropped in on by his winged brethren. Especially given the general response in heaven to nephilim.

  
As Sam returned to the library he found the future fathers sitting next to each other in the hardback wooden library chairs, Dean on Castiel's left side, and the two of them seemed to be in an odd moment of vulnerability. Dean had his right arm around Castiel's shoulders and his left hand was gently holding onto Castiel's hands. The hunter was obviously trying to comfort the angel right now and, on some level hidden within the gesture that perhaps Dean wasn't even aware of himself, Sam was sure, seeking some comfort himself from the angel. The comfort of a kind that Dean wouldn't be able to get from Sam.

  
Feeling a little uncomfortable for having interrupted the scene, and the extremely rare sight of Dean's soft side unhidden, Sam cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. Dean and Castiel looked over at him but to Sam's surprising pleasure the hunter didn't stop holding the angel in his arms, the expected breaking apart and sudden brash butch manliness to cover up his moment of human vulnerability not actually manifesting. Sam hadn't known that he wanted the two of them like this, he hadn't known that his discomfort would dissipate so quickly at the sight of them.

 

"Alright guys," he said to make sure they were listening. "The warding is all up and everything's locked tight. I don't think Crowley is going to get in here anytime soon... or any angels." he looked at Castiel a little as he spoke and sighed. "I'm sorry Cas - I had no idea. I have no idea how he got in here before or that he knew the baby shower was happening."

  
"It's alright Sam," Castiel said softly. "I... I sort of knew that there would always be - that they'd, that the angels, would find out sooner or later."  
"No shame in having wanted it to be much, much, later," Dean grumbled deep in his chest, looking away as he did so. Sam watched as his brother avoided both Sam and Castiel's eyes, his hand still tightly clasping Castiel as if the angel were something precious that couldn't be let go of.

  
"Dean - I'm..." It looked like Castiel was about to apologise, but he didn't get very far Dean was already putting his free hand up to stop the angel in his tracks, shaking his head.  
"No. No Castiel. It's okay - it's not your fault. We... we all knew this was going to happen. Of course, it was going to happen."

  
Sam watched the two fathers continue their moment but his own worry about the safety of them caused him to clear his throat again so he could interject. "So what's the plan now? We open the doors and the warding might have a gap in it; certainly, Crowley could figure out how to get through - since he already did more than once... but we'll need supplies in the coming months. We can't bed down with just what we have."

  
Dean considered this issue a little.

  
"We'll ward my room," the shorter hunter stated decisively, "specifically against both demons and angels so Cas and I will stay there. That way when you need to go out and get supplies the door to my room can be closed and we'll remain warded. We've also still got hex bags we can make and I think Cas still has that tattoo on him to make him invisible to angels."

  
"Isn't that a little... uhm..."

  
"A little what Sam?" Dean's voice was gruffly terse as if on the edge of being ready to jump up in defence of the angel. Castiel was watching Dean carefully paying little attention to Sam, his brows drawn together.  
"Y'know - stretched by now? I mean - what with how he's pregnant - would that...distort it a bit and make it..."

  
"It still works," Castiel replied quietly to the tallest hunter's question, looking down at the hands that Dean was still grasping. Dean hadn't held him, consciously at least, this long in a while. The angel felt almost not entirely without hope for the possibility of his being able to confess his feelings toward the hunter without having them immediately rejected. He was still nervous, however.

  
"Okay - so like - do you want to get Cas into your room before we do the warding on it - or - will we make it so if the door is open he can still get in?" Sam asked, Dean merely nodded and indicated with a hand gesture that he thought the latter was a good idea before Dean took Castiel's hand once more.

  
Sam nodded, pausing for a few moments as he stared at the two of them, his head to one side slightly, and then left so he could get the warding done.

  
The two barely noticed Sam's sudden absence, the feeling of it just being them having begun long before Sam had come to tell them that he'd put the main warding backup - let alone his second disappearance.

  
"Are you sure you're alright?" Dean virtually whispered to Castiel, his green eyes afire with concern and protectiveness.

  
"Yes."

  
"We can get through this. Even if we're on lockdown until after the baby is born - we can get through this. No one is going to get you or our child."

  
"I know. Thank you."

  
Silence filled the space for over half an hour. Despite the uncomfortable position caused by the kind of chairs they were in - Dean continued to hold Castiel the entire time, his thumb gently stroking the back of one of Castiel's hands.

  
When Sam returned to tell them the warding was done he felt like he was intruding on some level of intimacy he hadn't really seen or been a part of since Jessica. The two of them sitting there, were so intensely in need of one another that the entire world had fallen away for them. Feelings catching in the throat of those who saw them - the naked and raw need of them washing over others like large drowning waves. He felt like a voyeur on something so much more private that sex. Clearing his throat uncomfortably Sam focused on looking at the presents from the party so recent and yet feeling so long ago already.

  
"Room's ready. Why don't you two head there now and I'll go make sure to stock up on some supplies that have long shelf lives? That way we'll only have to open any of the doors to collect perishables."

  
"Good idea." Dean replied gruffly still not looking at his brother but staring at the angel.

  
Dean stood then, stretching out his back a little and then carefully helped Castiel stand up. They made their way to Dean's room. Dean closed the door after them while Castiel lay down on his bed and curled into a foetal position - at least - as good as one could get with a pregnancy bump showing.

  
Dean swallowed, locked the door then moved over toward the bed, kicking off his boots while he went before he got in the bed behind Castiel, just holding him again. An action that even a few months ago he'd have felt uncomfortable doing.

  
"I'm so sorry."

  
The cracked and broken voice of the hunter sounded so out of place with the confident protective reassurance he'd been giving Cas until now.

  
"Why?" Cas couldn't help but ask. It wasn't like any of this was Dean's fault. Although there were a lot of things that weren't Dean's fault that Dean internalized and blamed himself for anyway.

  
"If... If I had just... restrained myself." Dean's voice, still broken, came in a deep gravelly octave.

  
"Restrained yourself?"

  
"If I hadn't.... if I hadn't of kissed you... knocked you up. If I'd just let the damn temptation pass.."

  
"Then it'd never have happened... and I'd still be miserable thinking you didn't want me even on an instinctual level," Castiel whispered.

  
Silence filled the room once more, a mix of shock, guilt, and unresolved tension. The dreams Dean had been having recently let him know that he definitely wanted whatever it was he had with Castiel.

  
Though he had always identified as 'straight' as 'not swinging that way', something he'd repeatedly stated to anyone who made even the smallest double entendre, the recently firm conviction of his sexuality still stood there - like a giant wall - between him...and accepting possible happiness. The words that Castiel said however continued to sink into Dean's mind until it was almost permanently imprinted.

  
"You... you were miserable?"

 

"Yes."

  
Trust Cas to be straightforward at a time like this. Afraid and in need of comfort, both of them afraid in fact, and now as they lay together... they were confessing at least some of their feelings. The inner 26-year-old Dean Winchester was groaning at his 30-something self and muttering something dark about chick-flick moments.

His 30-something self--ignored him.

The silence was even longer this time. It was almost two hours of this silent contemplation and comfortive holding before any noise once more broke it.

"I love you, Dean."


End file.
